Saying Good-Bye

This summer will be the last one with our Great Pyrenees/Lab mix, Emmie.  

When I was going through chemo for Hodgkin's, I discovered a lump the size of a golf ball on Emmie's rib cage. I remember calling my mom in tears and telling her that Little Man couldn't lose his dog to cancer when I was in the middle of the battle myself. 

Who am I kidding, I couldn't lose my dog to cancer.

 When we brought Emmie in for her check-up, they told us it was probably bone cancer. The vet and I agreed that with her age, it was best just to let her enjoy her remaining time. We've been watching the lump, which has now reached the size of a softball.

Water has always been her favorite, but she started slipping last summer on the plastic of her custom 'pool'. This year I rigged up a geriatric model just for her. She is loving it, and she hasn't slipped yet!

 Emmie now hobbles around the yard at her leisure. We don't make her stay in the kennel when we are gone, because she can't roam very far anyway.

I have let Little Man know that this month we will need to say good bye. He's convinced that she will get better.  

It's not going to be easy. To add to the difficulty of making this decision, I first brought Emmie home right before a dear friend of mine passed away from cancer. Just a few days before she passed away, I brought my little Emmie over to meet her. My friend managed to say "That's going to be a big dog." as she cuddled her in her bed. It feels like losing Emmie is losing a link to my friend.

 I also really had hoped that Baby B would be home before we had to put her down. She is one of the most gentle dogs with children that you will see. 

Unfortunately, it's not fair to her to make her keep waiting. Her pain is increasing, and her strength is decreasing. 

It's time.

And I hate it.

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