11.22.2013

When Your Life Becomes a Hallmark Movie



Yesterday, I hinted that I once had the good fortune to experience a Hallmark movie moment. Sounds exciting and romantic right?

Let me explain.

Last summer one of my closest friends and I made our annual trip to this really cool art festival. We rarely have missed a year, and this year was going to be a little extra special because we were attending 'sans kids'. The weather was wretched, cold and rainy, but, armed with our umbrellas,we decided to bundle up and risk it.

 Like I said, this art festival is AWESOME!

We were trekking down another row of booths in a hypothermic stupor, when suddenly a man in a leather jacket approached me.

"I don't normally do this sort of thing, but I saw you walking through the crowd and I just had to take the chance. You are so tall, athletic...gorgeous. Exactly the kind of woman I like. Would you do me the honor of having a cup of coffee with me?" he asked.

I stood there frozen, and in a panic. I was torn. Should I feel horrified or flattered? My friend was standing a short ways away. I tried to mentally signal her "SAVE ME!" but it apparently was too cold for telepathic brain waves to travel very far.

"I...am...not from around here," I sputtered "and will be heading back home as soon as we are done here."

"Neither am I. Maybe you could come back to my booth and we could discuss the possibility of us having coffee together. Let me introduce myself...Have your friend come over here too so I can introduce myself to her and get her approval as well."

To make a long (and very traumatizing) story short, my friend and I headed over to his booth and talked for about fifteen minutes with him. He seemed okay, although quite the pushy salesman, selling the idea of him. He kept stressing that I was 'nearly the perfect woman' (whatever that means)and at this point he had already declared that he was looking for someone to marry and have children with (among other random facts about his life). In fact, he even asked me if I would be open to having more children.

Hello, what?!

I told him I didn't think it would be fair for me to go out for coffee with him, when I had no intentions in having it go any further.We lived four hours apart and I was preparing to bring Baby B home. It ended with him saying that my life wouldn't be complete if I didn't have a man in it.

 (I'm hoping you can feel the rage I was feeling at this point..."Oh you wanna play that way Mister, then let's go then!")

 My reply, if God was in my life then my life was complete-if I marry one day that would be a bonus. I then revved up to get all theological on him (saying I need something more than God, seriously?!

Thankfully, my friend led me away before things got really ugly.

The thing about Hallmark movies is that decent ending is almost guaranteed...and they follow a script. There are happy endings in real life and romance, but when a stranger approaches you like that in real life (and starts hinting at marriage) it can really freak you out. Some of those story lines only work in a movie.

Now, I wonder what movie they're showing tonight on Hallmark?☺

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11.21.2013

Life, and Hallmark Movies

Sorry for the recent disappearance act. I head back to work next Monday, and have been trying to get myself geared up for that. It's going to be tough.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. The only problem is, I love my children more and if I had my choice, I would be a SAHM (stay at home mom).



Alas, having not found a magic money tree, I will continue working and I truly am blessed to be working in a great school, and with wonderful coworkers.

Still, the idea of going back is stressing me out. Unfortunately, one of my favorite coping mechanisms when stressed is avoidance. Sooo, in between playing with Little Man and Baby B, I have been living in the land of Hallmark movies. I love Hallmark movies and right now they are already playing Christmas movies! I know they can be a bit cheesy...and they aren't 'realistic'. Hello! Why do you think I like 'em? Life has been hard lately. Escaping for a time, and seeing a happy story play out in two hours while I shut off my mind to my own life is just what the doctor ordered. Even if real life is not like a Hallmark movie.


 (A little side note: This past summer, I had the opportunity to 'live out' a Hallmark movie. A stranger came up to me at a craft festival and said I was 'perfect, gorgeous...just the kind of woman he was looking for.' Yep. Completely freaked me out. But I'll save that story for another day.)


Another bonus in watching that many Christmas movies is that it is helping to prepare me mentally for Christmas. Normally, Christmas is something that I start planning for very early. I've been pinning Christmas ideas for months.  I adore Christmas carols, all of the decorations, finding the perfect gifts for everyone.
Unfortunately, this year is going to be difficult, celebrating without my dad here with us. I feel sick just thinking about it.

Never the less, Saturday I am going to attempt to decorate our house for Christmas. Little Man loves decorating for Christmas, and this will be Baby B's first Christmas with our family. Plus, I know that once I go back to work I won't have the time to truly enjoy the process of decorating. We've already had a few dustings of snow, and this Christmas season is going to go quickly.


Ready or not, I think it's time to dig out those Nat King Cole Christmas CDs.

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11.15.2013

Freebie Friday!

Although I will never be another American Idol, I love music and love singing. 

I guess maybe this is why.


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11.11.2013

Just Be...

A Quitter

Ever notice how sometimes we cling to things and keep pushing in different areas of our life when we really just need to let go? I don't know about you, but I know I have done it many times (and I'm sure, will continue to do so.)  Most recently, I have decided to start a new trend in my life, a be a bit of a quitter.

Now let me clarify. One of our family motto's is (to misquote Winston Churchill) "Never, never, never give up." So, you may ask, how does being a quitter fit in with that motto? Let me explain.

I have been working on potty training with Baby B. She decided that it would be a good area of her life to assert her independence (even though she was the one who wanted to be potty trained in the first place). It has been truly, ahem, lovely. Baby B would stand across the room. Suddenly, she would look me in the eye and mess her pants. You could almost hear thinking, 'Take that Mama!' Or, she would wet her pants and then come happily tell me that they were wet.

Aaaaargh. To say I have been frustrated would be putting it lightly. One day, I left Baby B with Grandma while I went to town for some grocery shopping. When I returned, Grandma told me that Baby B happily would come and tell her whenever she had to go to the bathroom and off they would go. No power struggle whatsoever.

 It was then that I decided that I quit.

The constant frustration just wasn't worth it. (Now, if you're wondering if I was being too pushy with the potty training, I was really trying not to. I was offering rewards when she did go, giving lots of praise. I admit that every hour or so I would say, "Tell Mama if you have to go potty." but I wasn't forcing her to go. ) Baby B is a VERY smart, very independent little girl.  This was just the area that she decided to use that intelligence.


Once I quit, a funny thing happened. My little girl decided that she would go to the potty all the time, instead of in her pants. Yep. All that work for all these weeks and now when I decided I didn't care...

It made me realize that maybe there were other areas in my life that I need to just quit pushing so hard, and let go.

There are people in my life that disappeared when I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Now, two years clear, they've come back because my life is now easier to handle. Part of me is tempted to let them back in to my inner circle of trust-but they have already shown that they are not ready for that level of friendship and that's okay.

I often have unrealistic expectations about how my house, myself,  my family, or my life should look.

There are projects that I have taken on for who knows what reason...maybe appearance sake? Then, when I can't complete them to my satisfaction, I beat myself up over it.

Sometimes, something's not working and you can't fix it. Then it's time to move on.


But you know what?

True friends will always be there, whether we see each other frequently or not. My house will never look like a Better Homes and Gardens photo shoot. I will never look like I walked out of a magazine (I don't have stylists to help me with that). There is no such thing as a perfect mom, something I am sooooo thankful for. My children will always be their adorable selves (no stylists needed there ☺) fighting at times like all good siblings do.  Our family will always be a titch quirky. I will really try to not take on random projects, just because I feel that I should.

Anyone else feel like quitting some things with me?

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11.08.2013

Freebie Friday!

I love coffee, puppies, kittens, my children, sunsets, (sounds like the start of a singles ad) but none of that really matters. Sometimes we forget that love is an action word. God calls on us to love one another. 

That means we make sacrifices, without expecting anything in return. We show compassion, without waiting for the other person to say, "Gee whiz thanks for being so nice to me!"or "Wow, you are such a good person!"  When wronged, we don't carry the anger with us, but make the choice to forgive.

As group DC Talk used to say back in the day, Luv is a Verb. (I love that song.)



 John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

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11.06.2013

Wanted: New Traditions

For the past year or so, I have been looking for ways to not only simplify our lives in general, but also to help our family to focus on what really matters (aka, not things with plug ins, over even 'things' in general). The accumulation of stuff is such a nice way to anesthetize ourselves to the ups and downs of life.

But, I don't want that for myself or for my kids.

 I chose to cut non-essentials out of my life while I was working on bringing my children home. Now that Little Man and Baby B are both home, I will be adding some technology back into our lives.

Did you know that we don't have internet at our home? (Shockingly, I blog, but I do not personally have internet access. Thank you family members who let me come and borrow your wireless connection.) My phone is not "smart". In fact, it's barely working these days.



We have a broken plug and play, but no video games. Our TV (which is fat, heavy, and does NOT have HD in its model name) gets one channel.  I've always been prided myself in my ability to go without technology.

However, Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to be really hard this year and part of me just wants to start buying 'stuff' to fill the void.  I think the key to surviving it will be in making sure things are kept as simple as possible, surrounding ourselves with family, and starting some new traditions (to add to the old) to help reclaim the season from our grief.

This is where I could use your help. I am looking for new ideas for traditions for our family. Nothing extravagant or with too much prep time needed.

What are some SIMPLE ways you celebrate life, focus on thankfulness, and keep your family centered on what is truly important (particularly during Thanksgiving and Christmas)?

Put your ideas in the comments section, on my FB page, or in a private message.

Thanks for your help.

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11.04.2013

Just last Tuesday

You always read these articles about ways to be more content, how to be satisfied with the life you have... etc. I was never one who felt the need to read such articles. My life is good. Generally, I am very content. Once in awhile, though, everything comes crashing to the ground.

Last Tuesday, we got a phone call from my brother saying that Dad had passed out on their drive home from work. We didn't think it was a big deal. Mom rushed in to the ER bringing a change of clothes for my dad in case he had to stay overnight. Twenty minutes later, Mom called me and said the two words that changed everything.

He's gone.

I can hardly bare to type it, but it's true. At seventy-seven he was much too young to be gone. He and my mom were getting ready to celebrate their 50th anniversary next summer, planning where they wanted to go on vacation. Instead, we said good bye to him last Friday.

Dad was a man of few words. Norwegian, steady, honest, humble, patient, hard working, with a wry sense of humor, a smile on his face as he went through life. He loved God, his family, and his country, in that order. Not one to preach, his life was a testimony to his faith in God. Truly I was blessed to have a father who lived his faith.


My dad was always giving people second chances. Helping someone out when no one else would. Hiring someone that had recently (or was still) struggling with their own personal demons. Growing up, it was not uncommon for our home to be opened up to those wounded souls whether it be at Thanksgiving or the middle of the night. If someone needed help, my dad was there.

I was not an easy child to parent. Head strong, impulsive, hot tempered. Often, I acted first and thought later. But Dad never yelled at me. On more than one occasion, I remember Dad sitting on the bed next to me after I had done something I shouldn't have. With his eyes full of pain and love he would ask me, "Do you like to make your mom cry?" Not trying to guilt trip me, he genuinely couldn't understand why someone would want to hurt another person's feelings.

Sometimes, giving second chances meant that my dad was taken advantage of. Being compassionate can be bad for business. Dad would fire people when he had to, even try to counsel them make better choices, but he never got bitter. He was not perfect, but really try to live 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. His life was love.

I wish I was more like that. Unfortunately, I am much less patient and understanding.

But I'm sure going to try.


1 Corinthians 13:4-8


Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

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