2.22.2013

Old Fears Revisited


Little Man is a pretty brave kid.  Not much freaks him out. But one thing that has stayed with him from his days as a toddler is his fear and dislike of 'go-gee-choes' (phonetic spelling.)

When he first came home, every night he would ask me if there were gogeechoes outside. He was terrified. He didn't want to go to the bathroom alone. He didn't want to be in his room alone. 
I did some research, and discovered that in the rural area where he spent his early years there were only a few different animals that it possibly could be, lions, crocodiles, or hyenas. Unfortunately, he couldn't explain to me what exactly he was afraid of, he was just scared.
 I decided to do what any good mother would do. Find away to convince him that the gogeechoes were all gone and resign myself to checking google every so often to see if I could ever find a translation for the word.
I first tried explaining that it was too cold for the gogeechoes to live here. It didn't work.
I tried telling him that our dogs would keep them away. Still didn't work.
Then one night I had a flash of inspiration. I told him that when the bathroom fan pumped certain 'odors' outside, the smell killed off all of the gogeechoes. Problem solved. Suddenly, every smelly bodily function was a natural tool for exterminating his greatest fear.
A couple of years ago, my brother and sister-in-law met someone that came from the same village that Little Man came from.  They decided to ask him if he knew what gogeechoe met. He didn't, but he emailed a friend who knew Little Man's tribal language and finally the mystery was solved.
Gogeechoes are hyenas. 
Tonight, we were attempting to watch a show on the National Geographic channel about lions (his favorite animal.) Unfortunately, they also were covering the story of the lions enemies, the hyena (his least favorite animal.) As a seven year old, he no longer is openly afraid of hyenas. He just calls them stupid creatures. But we still couldn't watch the show. It was just too much.
Little Man is a success story for 'older' child adoption. He is charming, loving, a hard worker, and just a fun kid to be around. By all appearances, he is just an average seven year old.  But, he is also a child that will always have the experiences of his early years as part of who he is. Some of those experiences were good, some not so much. He will always bear the scars of that early loss and struggle. But all of the things he has gone through in his life, whether in Ethiopia or here are making him into the amazing kid. 
Makes my fear of snakes seem kind of pitiful.
So sometimes old fears rear their ugly heads.
But we tackle the fears together.

2.20.2013

Learning to Ask for Help

I am horribly independent. 

I don't like to bother anyone by asking for help. I don't like to burden others with my problems. I don't like attention focused on me. If you ask me how I'm doing, nine times out of ten I will tell you I'm fine and try to turn the conversation back around to you. I would much rather be on the giving than the receiving end of help.

For the most part, this works for me.

And yet, here I am-a single mom, to my beautiful internationally adopted children, who is adopting for a second time. 

What does that have to do with anything you may ask? 

Well, multi-racial families tend to get more attention where I live. Single mom's get asked more questions as well (who/where's his dad?) Single moms also need to ask people for help and must have a strong support network to be successful. We have to swallow our pride.
And we aren't always 'fine.'

 I have recently been humbled once again to be on the receiving end of three generous donations. I absolutely feel undeserving.  However, this means we have the money bring home Baby B when the time comes. 

You know what?

This single mom is not adopting debt free. I would love to say that was the case for us (you know  like that book I posted about a couple of months ago?),but it's not. I lost thousands of dollars on the failed adoptions from the Congo (after which I switched agencies). I will be paying back a hefty loan for the next few years. I have paired down our expenses to the bare essentials, and am working on several ways to bring in extra income without having to take a second (or third) job outside of the home. 

 It will all work out.

 I am soooo thankful to those who know us (and those who don't!) who have come alongside to help us to bring home Baby B.Our Give1Save1 week was amazing. The Amazon link to help bring home Baby B continus to bring in a little every month (thanks for shopping!)

Paperwork is expensive, but adding a member to our family is priceless.

You are helping to bring a child and family together.

Thank you.

2.17.2013

Just Be...

Simple.

I am on a quest to purge my life of anything that I don't really need. 


I have been starting to feel like our stuff is owning me, instead of us owning our stuff.

Plus, I am not the most efficient, organized individual. In fact, more stuff for me just means more for me to take out and then have to reorganize. 

Yeah right.

More like take out, start a project, put off putting away, then take out something more. Get tired, decide sleep is more important than cleaning at the moment, so you put off taking care of it now...

Enough is enough.


Clothes that I never wear, books that I am willing to part with (there are a ton that I won't), knick knacks that I don't decorate with anymore (not worth it with kids), art supplies for projects that I will never do, old papers and magazine clippings for things that I could easily just look up on the Internet, bottles of lotion, medicine, hair products,furniture...

Three piles: throw away, give away, sell.

I'm like Crazy Larry over here...

 EVERYTHING MUST GO!

I guess it's my version of nesting. Something to do while we wait for Little Man's passport to come.

When Baby B comes home, I don't want anything interfering with our time together.

Simplify, simplify, simply.

2.14.2013

To My Valentines

Dear Little Man and Baby B

It's Valentine's Day again, or as I like to call it the pink themed candy holiday.

Today is the day to declare your love in a big way to the one(s) you love. 

 I am not one for public declarations on command.
 I am not big on buying cards, stuffed animals, candy etc. to prove my love. 
(In fact I am allergic to sugar...but that's another story.)

Little Man

You have put up with my hugs, kisses, and goofy ways for nearly four and a half years. Sometimes you act like you don't want a smooch from your old mom but, sorry buddy, you're going to have to deal with it. Along with my pitchy singing, poor dancing, and sad athletic attempts (all signs of my love. :)

I've already retrained myself to not call you sweetie in public so, I'll thank you ahead of time for cutting me some slack.

There are so many things that I love about you. Your kind heart, your determination and drive (I don't call you coach for nothing.) It's amazing me that you already want to save some of your money for your future family's trip to Disney World, and for plane tickets to bring Baby B home. I could take a page from your book.

My little planner.

 While some may have been afraid to bring home an 'older child', I have never once regretted it. You were not damaged goods, you were just a precious little guy who had suffered a great tragedy and lost a very loving birth family.

 You are amazing and I treasure each day I have been given to watch you grow.

Baby B

I have yet to meet you but I love you already. I pray that I will be the mom that you need to grow into the wonderful woman that you deserve to be. I carried the image of you in my head long before I ever saw your picture, and can't wait to finally hold you in my arms. I admit that I'm a little nervous about bringing home a little one still in diapers. Little Man spoiled me a bit coming home potty trained and ready to take on the world. But I've got the sippy cups and diapers ready and can't wait to hold you in my arms.

Becoming a family has been a process with many ups and downs, but it has all been worth it.

So while I may never be huge on the once a year celebration with large boxes of chocolate, dead plants, and cards ...I  promise you to shower you with love every day that I have a breath in my body.

I love you both more than I could ever say.

Happy Valentines Day!

This song has double meanings for our family but definitely sums up how I feel about my God and my kids!



2.11.2013

Let's Have a Snow Ball!


Snow day...again!? 

So they told us that winter storm Orka was headed our way. They were forecasting 6 to 12 inches.

We didn't believe them. 

We went to Grandma and Grandpa's house for a visit and took a nice hike through the woods. As the snow piled up, it started to look very promising but I told Little Man not to get his hopes up about a snow day. If anything we would get a two hour late start.

 Knowing that our driveway would be too drifted for our car to make it out of the driveway in the morning we decided a sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa's would be our safest bet. I drove Grandpa's 4WD pickup, and we ventured out.

 It's a very strange experience being one of the only cars and the road, but meeting snowmobiles in the oncoming lane. The snowplows just could not keep up with the snowing and drifting.

We woke up to 28 inch drifts on the deck, and about 14 inches in actual snowfall.


So he had some wild (adult monitored :) snow fun! 

 



 Guess Little Man got his wish.



We've decided that we like these snow days!

2.09.2013

Brotherly Love

Little Man made the ultimate sacrifice for his sister this week. 


He cut off his beloved afro. 

He has been working on it since last July. His goal had been to have the longest hair in the world. It drove Grandpa and Grandma crazy. However, in preparation for going to Haiti, I knew that we needed to make a good impression when we went to go through court, and also be respectful of the culture. So, I informed him one of three styles would work when we went to meet Baby B. He could get twists (which he will has never let me do to his hair), he could have cornrows (ditto) or he could get his hair buzzed. 

Last night, he decided he wanted it buzzed, so we went right to it. When we were finished, it looked like a small poodle had joined the family. Little Man decided that there was enough hair for us to knit him a sweater (ew!)

Although he was initially sad to see the hair go, I thought that he was really liking it this morning when he stayed in the bathroom a loooong time after finishing his business.Then he came out rubbing the back of his neck, suspiciously.

On a hunch, I went to look in the bathroom and discovered hair all over the counter top and the hair scissors. I asked him if he had been trimming his hair a little more, and it turns out he had decided to remove his widow's peak.  Hello bald spot.

Lovely.

Good thing we have a few weeks before we fly out to meet Baby B. 

2.04.2013

Getting Ready for Travelling


I talked to our Haiti coordinator today about our future travel plans. Basically, as soon as we know when we want to travel (within three or four weeks) they will make our appointments for going through court!

 Yikes!

 I can't believe how fast it feels like everything is going right now. Not that I am complaining. I can't wait to get to Port au Prince to hold my little peanut. But having everything happen three months earlier than expected means I am really going to have to hustle my bustle to get everything ready in time-not only in the area of paperwork (Little Man's passport in en route-praying for no delays with it) but also on the financial end of things.

 It is feasible that Baby B could make it home before the end of the school year.

 Before...the end...of ...the ...school...year!

That would awesome, amazing, miraculous (you choose the adjective).

It would also mean that I need to hurry up learning Kreyole, and make a plan about taking  an extended leave from work.  With adopting, I am guaranteed a job if I need to take time off to be with my child, but it is all an unpaid leave. Since I thought I would be bringing Baby B home during the summer, I hadn't really started worrying about that little mountain yet.

 Guess it's time to start getting ready for that possibility.

Little Man and I did a little shopping for Baby B after school today. We purchased some diapers (DIAPERS!), a tiny little swimsuit, a little cloth doll, and a stuffed Mike Wazowski (the green one eyed monster from Monsters, Inc.-guess who picked that out.)

How on earth am I going to get any work done for the next month or so!

2.02.2013

Now This is News!

I went to work yesterday and discovered I had an email from ABI. Our Haiti coordinator just returned from a trip to check on the kids and see what progress had been made in the new policies now that they are a Hague country. Hoping that there would be some new pictures of  Baby B, I opened it to find something even better.

Our paperwork has made it through IBESR!

Three months earlier than expected!

Within the next 3 to 4 weeks it will be time to travel!!!

Our coordinator wants me to call her on Monday to start figuring out our travel plans.

!!!!!!!!!!Travel plans!!!!!!!!!

I thought I had more time to get Little Man's passport, but now I am going to have it expedited. Luckily I have already gathered all of the paperwork together and just need to submit it and pay the additional $60 to get in two to three weeks.

3 to 4 weeks people and I meet my little girl. 

My eighteen month old little girl that had existed in my heart, and then in pictures will finally be in my arms. 

Amazingly, the fact that I am single mother with an adopted son has seemed made things go more smoothly (less grown ups to process in the paperwork stage of the game).


 It has been a long journey, but we are getting so close now. 

Want another look at how cute she is? (This is an older picture but I love the shades!)