Fatherly Behavior

Those of you who know me, know that I am raising Little Man and Baby B 'on my own.' (Alone, I guess, if you don't count the support structure of carefully vetted friends and family that I have surrounded us with.) According to statistics, the chances for a bright future while having no father may not be as bright for them as for those children being raised in a two parent home. I know that, so please don't feel the need to comment on that fact after reading this post. I will just delete your comment. We plan on ignoring the statistics. Now that we've taken care of that, shall we continue?

It is quite common to hear the term 'motherly' being used. Ironically, we don't use the term 'fatherly' used as often. Think about it, people will often refer to a little girl as acting 'motherly' but when a little boy is acting in a nurturing manner, we don't automatically say that he is acting 'fatherly.'

I think that's too bad.

Boys need to learn about what it means to be a father just as much as girls need to learn what it means to be a mother. Nurturing and supporting others is one of the most important things we can teach a child.

On this Father's Day, I celebrate the father that was part of my for nearly 39 years. If anyone modeled fatherly traits, it was him. The man who worked hard to not only support his family financially, but also took the time to really love his children and his wife. The man who rarely, if ever, raised his voice. Whose life demonstrated what integrity, honesty, and kindness should look like. The man who was a father/mentor/grandfather to many young boys and men through the years. The man who taught Little Man so many of the things a father would have wanted to teach him. Some of those things I thought Dad was showing Little Man at too young of an age. Now I'm thankful for those lessons he gave him.

I celebrate the dads out there who aren't afraid to show their children their silly side. Who aren't afraid to let their kids see them cry. The fathers who are a firm, kind, stabilizing force in their families. Those dads who stay with their families even when things get tough, and scary, and uncomfortable. Who are 'fatherly.'

I celebrate those men who are mentors to the children who have no father around in their life. The men who help the children without dads learn how to treat a woman, and how a woman should be treated. Who are nurturing and supporting without conditions-just out of the goodness of their heart. The men who help balance out the life of these children, whose days are so often filled with only the influence of women. They really need both.

I celebrate my Father in heaven, who promises to be there for the widowed and the orphaned. Who will help me to navigate this thing called parenting. To be there for me when I am aching so to hear my dad's voice (just one more time) as he cracked a lame joke with my son, then winked at me as he waited to see if Little Man had caught it.

For those of you who still have a father here on earth, I pray that he is one that brings you that kind of love and happiness. For those of you who don't have that kind of relationship with your father, my heart aches for you. I pray that there is someone in your life who has filled that void. And, if there isn't, I know there is a God who has been waiting for years to fill the position.

Happy Father's Day.



Click the banner above to vote for Just B. @Top Mommy Blogs! You can vote once a day.

The Deconstructed Home

Deconstructed food is all the rage these days. The Barefoot Contessa was on today and Ina Garten was making a deconstructed lobster salad. I've seen other shows where they have deconstructed different dishes-everything from strawberry shortcake to chicken kiev to black forest cake. There are even pinterest groups dedicated to the idea. Pretty fancy schmancy stuff from what I've gathered. ☺

Today as I flipped past the deconstructed lobster salad, I was hit with a genius thought. (Hang with me here).

According to one definition of the word deconstuct it means to break down into components;dismantle. Well, I don't know about you but we are super good at breaking things down and dismantling in our house. (Don't mean to brag or anything.) It's just the whole putting things back together part where we struggle.

In fact, we are so good at deconstructing that I am currently hoping to "reconstruct" our home into something that less resembles a home in the early stages of packing up to move.

We all want a clean, beautiful home. But life happens and since we live in our home, that is not always the case. Especially when it's the end of the school year...and you're me.

I recognize that even the top chefs who love created 'deconstructed' dishes do not ONLY make deconstructed masterpieces. Speaking only for myself, I am definitely on a mission to eliminate all of the extra 'stuff' out of our home (I blogged about that quest before), create defined spaces for the stuff, and make the housework more manageable. Frankly, right now we are at one of our low points as far as having things organized and looking presentable.

My main goal for this month is to donate a ton of junk and create concrete parking spots for the stuff that we do keep. Little Man is all in, and Baby B loves putting things away when it's a game. Will there still be days where our house looks a little bit deconstructed? Absolutely! To me, that's how you know you're in a house that people truly live in.

 But, if someone pops in for a surprise visit when the house is a mess, I now have a new explanation.

Oh, and if you are planning on stopping by before July, could you give me a couple of hours heads up so that I can shove everything in a closet put away a couple of things? Thanks.


Click the banner above to vote for Just B. @Top Mommy Blogs! You can vote once a day.

The One Million Words Project

Little Man had his last day of second grade today. It's crazy to me that he is growing up so fast. He himself will gleefully tell me that he has only eight years (okay 7 1/2) until he can get his drivers license. Yikes. Time is passing too quickly. Way to soon, my kids will be thinking I am just another adult who doesn't know half of what they know. Gone will be the days when I am "funny, cool...the best mom ever."

When I think back to my childhood, some memories stand out more than others. My dad playing practical jokes. My mom dancing with us to records in the living room. Having squirt gun fights with my siblings in the summer (where, inevitably someone would always end up crying).

What will my children remember from their childhood? What things do we do as a family now, that will make them smile looking back years from now (even when they are teenagers and can't admit it out loud)? What words can I give them that they will carry with them and share with their children?

So, I've come up with a plan. Actually, it's been rolling around in my head for a least a couple of months and I finally feel like I the idea has crystallized. Rather than crossing my fingers and hoping for the best, I've decided to be proactive.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. My goal is to give my children the gift of a visual history of some of those big and small things that we share as a family. Trips, puddle jumping, fishing, taking walks, etc. Memories fade, but photos can be a nice reminder. I plan on recording some of my thoughts for them as well. Written accounts of things that they've said, or moments that were precious to me. Similar to the adventure book that was in the movie "Up".

AlbumOptions/Etsy.com  

A gift for them now and in the future.

I started the project June 1st, and will periodically post my photos on Instagram, Twitter, and here on the blog. Will I finish the project over the summer? Probably not. But I'm determined to leave a visual legacy for my kids to reinforce the lessons and memories we will be sharing along the road of life.

Who would like to join me? If you would like to share a moment from your own family story, you can share it on my Facebook page, or you can find me on Twitter:  @JustMamaBea.

Remember..."Adventure is out there!"



Click the banner above to vote for Just B. @Top Mommy Blogs! You can vote once a day.