Choose Your Words

I've been working on finding a better balance for my life. A clarification of what is REALLY important in my life was in order. For me, an introverted, headstrong, perfectionist, chatty patty, people pleaser (Yikes! Doesn't really make sense, does it?) spreading myself too thin means everyone else may be happy but I am miserable.

The more I say 'yes' to the wrong things (too many committees, projects, etc.) the more I say the wrong things to the one's closest to me (No, I can't do x,y,z with you...I just don't have the time... For the fifth time, will you please listen.) Sarcasm, impatience, sighs of frustration in response to perfectly valid requests...you know the ones. The misery of my own choosing results in those around me suffering.

One of the aresa I've decided to work on is choosing my words carefully. Thinking before I speak (a trait that I often do not practice during times of stress.)

 My children are learning from my actions and my words.

Our childhood minister once gave a sermon about choosing your words carefully. During the sermon, he shared a story about he and his siblings fighting as children. One of them said to the other, "Take it back!" after hurtful words were spoken. Then he said something that still resonates with me years later.

"You can't take it back."

People like to pretend that words are not powerful, but I disagree. Words have the power create enemies or friends. To heal or to scar. Everyone has memories of words spoken to them in their lifetime that have lifted them to greater heights, or brought them down.

 A blessing, or a curse.

I want my words to be a blessing to those around me. It's time to practice being intentional with my words and my actions.



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What Makes Someone Brave?

A couple of weeks ago I was having a tough go of it. Feeling overwhelmed, incompetent, never able to complete things that I felt had to be done, and short tempered with those around me.

Then somebody told me I was brave.

When she said it, I stopped short. I had been in the middle of mentally telling myself not to cry (after being told something cutting another person had been saying about me.)

I have never thought of myself as brave. I am frequently second guessing myself. Often fighting off fears that I am doing the wrong thing or that things are about to go badly. Berating myself for all of the mistakes I have made. The would haves, could haves, should haves. When a job needs to be done, I'm an 'okay' fill in, but never first pick. Last choice. Stubborn, yes, but never brave.

Yet, this person saw me in a totally different light. I didn't know what to say. I started to ask myself, why didn't I think of myself in that way?  It almost felt like God whispered in my ear at that moment and said "See, cut yourself some slack."

My doubts and fears can partially be attributed to the voices I have chosen to listen to from outside.

You know how it goes, those off handed comments comparing us negatively to others ("Oh, her mom is sooooo nice, she never gets crabby or anything." "When so and so used to work here, this is how he did it." "Did you let her pick out her own clothes today?" ) Those watchful eyes, analyzing your every move, yet staying painfully silent. The noises of disapproval ("Hmmm," "Ooookaaay," "Well that's so...nice.") Then my favorite, the outright bossy, direct approach: "No, no, no! That's not how you do it at all. When I was raising my kids..."

The thing is, I've chosen to listen to these negative messages and internalize them.

But lately I been asking myself, if I don't consider myself brave...then what is brave?

Here's what I've come up with so far.

~Pushing forward even when you feel like giving up.

~Loving, no matter what you get back in return.

~Sacrificing for others, expecting nothing in return.

~Knowing who to listen to in our lives, and who to ignore.

~Speaking up for those who have no voice.

~Risking failure for a good cause.

The more I thought about it, the more I have realized that brave does not have to mean loud, or flashy. "Brave" isn't just reserved for the big stuff. It's in the little things too. The day to day trek through lifes ups and downs. Through the homework struggles, car payments, and aging.

Faithful, quiet, steady, but determined.

Something like this...

That's the kind of brave I'm going to try for. Anyone else ready to be brave?

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7



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