Great Expectations

Sometimes we have to adjust our expectations. Last night, Little Man and I were reflecting on how our life has changed since Baby B came home. To quote Little Man: "I thought the day we brought her home would be, like, the best day ever....and it was really more like a really bad dream. But it's good now." Yep. He summed it up pretty well.

Now, to clarify what he meant. Bringing home a new member of the family can be rugged at first.

Little Man did not expect the tantrums, or how hard it was to travel with a two year old who alternated between trying to take off into the crowds, pitching fits, and laying on the airport floor. He didn't anticipate what it would feel like to have to share his mom at bedtime, with a little stranger 'messing up' the routine. He didn't realize what it would feel like to have a two year old riding in the car, interrupting him while he tried to talk to his mom on the way home from school.

I didn't realize what it would feel like to have my heart divided in two, feeling badly for both my children as they struggle to get to know each other. I didn't know how hard it was when both of your children are mad at each other (irrationally) and you are trying to keep the peace. I didn't expect how different bringing home a two year old would be from bringing home an almost three year old developmentally. I forgot how much patience I would need.

We turned a corner a few days ago (Yes, your eyes do not deceive you, we had a dusting of snow.)

Suddenly,  Little Man and Baby B are truly siblings. He plays games with her and she doesn't feel the need to constantly try to get him in trouble.  (Seriously, she is so good at faking getting hurt...I can't believe it.) Little Man will come lay in my room while I am putting Baby B to bed and then we still have time for just the two of us to read books after she falls asleep. This morning while I was getting ready in the bathroom, Little Man was reading books to Baby B while she ate breakfast. When I came out to check on them, they were both glowing with happiness. Yay!

I'm not second guessing myself on whether or not I am doing the right thing. I'm just Mom and we're figuring it out as we go along. She's my baby, and some days she can be a real turkey, but most days she's so much fun. I've kind of figured out how to juggle having two little sweetie pies in my life. It is hectic, but it is forcing me to be much more organized and intentional with my time.

Yesterday I noticed the biggest change.  Baby B was having a tantrum about something. Before, Little Man would have gotten frustrated and left the room. His response, a tender smile, a hug for his sister, and a whispered "Mom, she is just so cute I don't even mind the crying anymore."

Happy sigh.

Now, we will ride off into the sunset and my children will never fight again. Oh, and I will always be an organized, put together, cool mom.

 That's how it works in a "real" family, right? ☺

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