Unhappy People

Unhappy people are all around us in life, without us always realizing it. They come across as 'difficult.' We, more often than not, absorb their negativity and throw it right back at them. Then we continue on our way, being equally difficult to those who are unfortunate enough to cross our paths.  It's a frequently repeated occurrence.

Last week I encountered many unhappy people. Each was unhappy for a different reason.

Past Decisions

The first was dealing with pain from a decision they regretted in their past. The anger at themselves had tainted every aspect of their lives since then. Anyone that they perceived as being associated with that negative event-ready, aim, fire. That's where I walked into the picture. A completely innocent bystander, I was first shocked, sickened, and then furious. How could she, how dare she, I'll show her...you get the picture. Thankfully, I was at work so I couldn't respond right away. Then I went home and I had sick kids to take care of. When I finally was able to deal with the issue, I had taken time to breath and process. That's when I realized her anger did not have to become my own. Her anger was just her coping mechanism, her way to block the grief and sadness that she had never truly allowed herself to deal with. So I took a breath, said a prayer for her, and moved on.

Circumstances

The second was dealing with temporary circumstances that were causing a great deal of stress. Through no fault of her own, life had thrown her a curve ball. She felt overwhelmed and was sinking. Everything at this point felt like too much. Consequently, her response to everyday events was not as gracious as it normally would have been. She was hurting, had lost her joy. While she was not consciously trying to spread her pain, it was happening nonetheless. I crossed her path, got 'bit', took the bait. and bit back. I instantly regretted my reaction and worked to repair my half of the problem. In the end things, worked out fine, but it wasn't a fun situation at the time.

Failure

The third was a student of mine. We had just started a new project in class. I could see that he was determined to succeed. This young man does not do well with any missteps or imperfections. He fears failure and looking weak more than anything else. Unfortunately, as with all humans, he made a mistake on his drawing. Despite having an eraser close at hand, he instantly became angry and started to shut down. I offered a couple of solutions and tried to redirect. Instead, he started to bait the nearest student that he knew would 'bite'. Soon, I had two angry students. I told the other student what was happening, and in the end, he was able to walk away without taking the anger with him.

I encountered each of these situations over a twenty-four hour period. In two of the three scenarios, I wanted to lash out in return. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's true. I, in turn, started to become the difficult person.  It's a good lesson for me to be reminded of.

Being able to look past the anger to see the underlying pain, makes all the difference.

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