Learning How to BE

This last year has been one of change and growth for me. Change is a process, and does not have to be a bad thing. In fact, the end result can be a amazing once we get to the other side.

However along with change, can come pain. Growing pains, if you will. We can fight it, and break in the process. Or we can bend with it, and let it shape us into something uniquely beautiful that we never would have expected.

I hate change. Yep. Always have. Give me safe, predictable, and boring any day.

This process of change has forced me to find a new way to 'be.' It truly felt like I didn't know who I was anymore. In my quest to discover who I am now, I was brought face to face with something I didn't anticipate.

Fear.

I have struggled with a laundry list of fears (both real and imagined) that have paralyzed me to act on many things during the past twelve months. Self doubt, imagined scenarios, you name it and it has probably kept me awake at least one night in the past twelve months. So I have stayed silent, gripped by fear. But we are not meant to live in fear.

Because FEAR LIES!

Fear says that we will never make it, that all is hopeless, that we will always fail, that it will never get better, that we can't make a difference, that all is lost. We're never good enough, smart enough, clever enough, good looking enough.

But that's not true.

Life is about learning and growing from our mistakes, not about perfection. We will fall many times in our life. FALLING ISN'T FAILING. Whether or not we get back up, that's what counts.

It's something I've needed to remind myself of, and maybe you needed to hear it today as well. Some days we will thrive and some we will just get by.

I will never be able to go back to the way I was. It hasn't felt comfortable. There is a depth to the 'song of my life' that wasn't there before. A deeper, more sorrowful tone that wasn't present a year ago has been added. That just makes that joyful notes sound so much sweeter.

I will proudly 'sing' these new notes in my life, acknowledging them, but not letting them stop me from continuing to add to my song, and continuing to learn how to be.

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
                                                                                                                                  ~2 Timothy 1:7

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