Toddler Adoption: Things I've Learned

I had almost forgotten what it was like bringing home a toddler. Little Man has been home five years. Five years is a long time. Plus, Baby B is almost a year younger than Little Man was when he came home. What a huge difference a year makes! I feel like God gave me Baby B to show me that I had a lot to learn.

However, a few things have helped me through both adoptions.

Prayer 
There will be hard days. Days when both you and your child will be crying, or angry. That is a given. There may even be some days that you find yourself wondering if you've made a huge mistake. Nights when you will lie awake with all of the worst case scenarios running through your head. When you wonder if things will ever feel normal again. I'm here to tell you they will. Pray. God will help you through it. Still feel stressed and overwhelmed? Pray some more.

Patience 
Your child will test your limits in more ways than you ever knew was possible. They will find every one of your buttons and push them. Or your child will remain distant despite all of your attempts to enter their quality world. Take a deep breath. Keep trying. Talk out loud to yourself if they don't want to communicate with you. They ARE listening and watching and learning. This is the infant stage of your relationship. Give it time to grow. Baby steps.

Perseverance
Some days you will want to give up. Your child, the one you prayed for, and waited for may be sad/angry/distant/fearful/etc.and you secretly fear it will last forever. You will feel wounded. Why does your child not love you? Why are they not responding? Never give up. Be the constant in their life. Be consistent. Things are changing. You are tough. You've come this far and you're in it for the long hall. Press on.

Play 
Find ways to play. Laugh together. Get creative finding ways to encourage face to face interactions.Paint or put stickers on each other's faces. Throw a ball back and forth. Toss a balloon around your living room. Hop through mud puddles. Go to a children's museum. Take a road trip. Form memories together as a family. This is huge. The more history you share, the more you will begin to feel like family and the more your child will feel like they belong.

Prune Juice (or popcorn or hot dogs...)
Your toddler may have food issues during the transition. What your child was supposed to like so much, may just be a reminder of the orphanage now. Food now tastes different, smells different, it may even have a different consistency. Both Little Man and Baby B had foods that went from being favorites to being something that they could barely stomach.

Keep trying, be creative.

Baby B recently decided that she no longer cares to drink water during the day. Or go 'number 2'  (Which, if you think about what being dehydrated does to you, who can blame her.) After two weeks of misery on both of our parts, I decided to pull out 'the big guns'. Yep. Prune juice and popcorn. Plus, oatmeal, and lots of fruit and veggies. No bowels can resist that combination.

Toddler adoption can be tricky and very tiring at times. But it's worth it.

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