Beauty from Ashes

Much like the ferns that first spring up after a fire, adoption is new life springing from great loss.

Baby B is losing everything that is familiar to her. She will be losing her country, her cuisine, her creche (the only family she has ever known), her language.  Things will smell differently, the bed will feel different, the food, the trees,  and the people will be different. The natural rhythm of her day will change (Midwestern time flows at a different rate than Haitian time). 

Even the air smells different.

When I visit Haiti, it is a complete culture shock.  I spend most of my time reaching back into the far corners of my mind trying to remember my high school French so that I can communicate with those around me somewhat. Baby B will not have that luxury. She has no prior knowledge to access. Just as she is beginning to get a good grasp on her birth language and being able to communicate her needs- we are taking that away from her. 

How do you explain to a two year old that it will all be okay? That you are there to take care of her. That she will grow to love her new family, and her new home? That soon she will understand her new 'normal'? That this time you will stay forever?

 You hold your breath and tread lightly. You move slowly. You carefully dole out all of your stored up affection in little bits. You cry with her when she grieves a loss that she can't yet understand. You laugh together at the little things. You celebrate little successes. You give her room, but stay close. You run whenever she calls. You waltz together in that dance called becoming a family.

 To say that I am excited about the idea of my little girl coming home within the next couple of months would be an understatement. We are so close now. I am so happy that my girl will soon be home. I can hardly wait to shower her with love, and to be her mom. Little Man has a whole list of things that he wants to teach his baby sister. We are going to have so much fun together! 

But it's important for me not to forget all that she's come from, because that also will be with her throughout her life. 

My precious little Baby B. 

3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

Isaiah 61:3

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