Just B...

Bold!

When I get to the end of my life I want people to say that I lived boldly and dared to dream big. Part of that process of reaching that goal has been my decision to become a single mom, through adoption.

As a child, I always thought that I would go to college, get married, have a couple of biological children, and then adopt a couple as well (oh and be a stay at home mom)....in that order. Nice, comfortable, safe, planned.  As it has turned out, God has had distinctly different plans for my life.

When I reached thirty and found myself living life as a single working professional I decided that my life was pretty good. I worked with kids for a living (for a time as an administrator in a youth development organization, but mainly as a teacher). I enjoyed having the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted. In fact I may have enjoyed it a bit too much. Ironically, I distinctly remember driving in my car one beautiful summer day thinking to myself "this isn't so bad, living my life doing what I want, taking vacations whenever and wherever I want..." God seems to get a good laugh at all of my attempts to live life too safely, and selfishly.  Almost immediately, I was inundated with almost daily nudges to turn my entire life upside down by adopting.

After praying, journaling, talking to my pastor, the 'church ladies', friends, family, and praying some more- I decided that going to an educational class about adoption would be okay. Just to get some more information. Well, I could probably attend the two day session for more info. When I returned home from those two days of sessions from everything from international adoption, to older child adoption issues I realized that I could see the eyes of my future son when I closed my eyes. There was a two year old boy in Ethiopia waiting for me. Had I received a referral yet? No. But I knew I would recognize him when I saw his picture. God gave me the verse Isaiah 54 as a guide (amongst other verses). Although it speaks to the barren and the widow a close friend of mine came to me having felt that the same verse was mean for me.

Goodbye money, free time, concerts, mochas...

Turns out I didn't need any of those things!