Friends

Today I want to celebrate friendship. 

 I truly value the friends that I have in my life. Although I am a generally friendly person, I am sometimes slow to take a new person 'in' to my most inner circle of trust, for fear of having that trust broken. God has brought just the right people into my life, at precisely the times that I have needed them. Admittedly, I am not always the easiest person to be friends with. I am forgetful("happy birthday...six months ago), a major procrastinator ("we totally have to get together one of these days...") and don't always say the right thing. 

Thankfully, they seem to understand.

 I love that we can celebrate the good times with each other and call each other out on the tough stuff. 

My extra sisters. We can sit and visit, go spend hours in a coffee shop together, or even not be in touch for months at a time and be able to jump back in right where we left off. 

Christmas

The thought of what the first Christmas must have been like takes my breath away. What a gift. This song by Chris Rice really captures the wonder of that moment.

Welcome to Our World

 I love Christmas time. Time with family is so precious. A chance to slow down and re-assess what is really important before the start of the new year. A time, hopefully, to slow down enough to thank God for what we have and prepare to walk with Him into the future.

We have had our prerequisite viewing of The Nativity Story, Elf, The Santa Clause, plus all of those adorable claymation Christmas movies from my childhood. I have been listening to Christmas music since Thanksgiving (a certain seven year old has even started to sing along when I am not in the room!) Yesterday, Little Man reminded me that we hadn't done any of our Christmas cookies-so we spent the morning baking three delightful little numbers (Finnish Spice Cookies for Grandma, Sugar Cookies for the kids, and  Pecan Chocolate Angels for me) then headed to Grandma and Grandpa's for Christmas Eve.

We were blessed to have my older brother's family and their new baby with us (one week old, and cuuuuuuuuuute!) but sad that my other three siblings and their families were not able to make it. Thank goodness for the webcam.

 This year our family also celebrated Christmas without one very important member-Baby B. It is surreal to have one child here and one child far away. Although we have never met her yet, we miss Baby B already. The Haiti coordinator from our agency assured me that every child at the orphanage is able to celebrate Christmas, and receive their own gifts.

I am sure they are doing a great job, but I want her home. 

Yesterday. 

So we pray, try to stay busy, and send as many care packages as possible until we can go to meet Baby B.

Treasure your family.

Merry Christmas.

 

Peace

I have struggled with this lately. 

You see, last week was my six month CT scan to make sure that I am still Hodgkin's free. 

About a month before your appointment, you receive a letter stating when to stop eating food the night before, when to report, etc. That (for me) usually begins the internal dialogue. " I feel good, I don't think I am having any night sweats, although I did wake up the other night hot...but was it night sweats? Do I feel any new lumps in my lymph nodes? Well, my neck is kind of sore, but that can't be my lymph nodes because there is no lymph node there anymore...My weight is down a little, but then I was sick last week and could barely hold any food down for a few days..." You get the picture.

I am more than pleased to report, that today I was officially told that I am still Hodgkin's free. There was no reason to assume the results would be anything other than good (all of my doctors did approve me moving forward with adopting again).  However, there will always be that little part of my mind that worries over the 'what ifs'.

I am proud to be a survivor.  But you see, I never wanted to be one of the survivors. I wanted to be one of the untouched ones, that never has to worry about surviving anything, but rather consoles those other people instead (pretty selfish I know). Safely distanced from any of the 'yucks' in life.

Although I have been carrying on for the past month with a smile on my face,on the inside I have had many moments of turmoil. Now, I have six months before my next scan when I will start that roller coaster of emotions once again. 

Hopefully, as the months and years go on, each successive scan will be less and less of a big deal. I pray that God helps me to hang onto His peace in those times (I really do try to). 

And I will remember that I never know when those around me may be wearing a smile to hide the pain that is inside of them.

Tonight, I will sleep in peace, and dream of my Baby B coming home.

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.~Philippians 4:6-7

Why?

In Genesis, we read of God's creation of our world. For the first two chapters, we read of God seeing the good in His creation. "God saw the light, that it was good," after creating the seas "God saw that it was good," He set the sun and moon in the sky to light the earth "and God saw that it was good" "God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth...and God saw that it was good"....""And God saw every thing that he had made, and behold, it was very good."

By chapter 3 we see Adam and Eve (the masterpieces of God's creation) choosing to listen to the serpent (satan); sinning by eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  See, that is where evil came in. 

So here we sit. 

With the tragedy in Connecticut we see more evil. I work in a school. Yesterday we had planned to have a lock down drill, which we cancelled. It is horrifying the thought of what went on in that school and what those children, teachers, and families will be living with for the rest of their lives.

Last week one of my students lost her mom to cancer after a long courageous battle. More evil.

I personally would like to build a fortress around all of those that I love to protect us from the dangers of the world. Complete with an organic farm, raising grass fed, hormone free meat, and organic produce, painted with non-VOC paints, and an artesian well.

God created everything good. We (okay Adam and Eve, but we as their descendants) opened that door to evil. Having free will, many choose evil over good. Jesus came (God in flesh) to help us find the way back to Him. Satan  is still roaming about like a lion seeking who he may devour, but God offers a lifeline for us to cling to so we may spend eternity with Him. But, each individual has a choice to make, God will not make anyone follow Him.

Following God doesn't insulate us from evil, but it insures we have an eternity with God to look forward to even if the journey leaves us with many scars. 

As I weep, I must remember that God weeps as well over what mankind has chosen. I will treasure the time I have with my family, pour myself out in love on those who I cross paths with in this life, pray for all of those hurting around me, and keep my eyes on God.

'Snowball' Fun

Little Man had a rough night last night. He has had a cold for a couple of days and last night he was up multiple times with a completely plugged up head. So, that meant Little Man slept propped up in bed, tissue box close by, dosed up on cold medicine all night. Despite all of that, he was convinced it was time to wake up at 4 AM...although I did manage to get him to sleep an extra hour by snuggling in bed with him. 

When he got the energy to get moving for the day, I was reminded of the fact that I am several days behind on our Advent calendar of activities. I love having our Advent calendar, but I always misplace the slips of paper that I have created for it and have to start over every year. Sigh.

 Being the smart, though procrastinating (and very tired) mom , I decided to pull out the big guns.

 One of those ultimately cool activities.

A marshmallow snowball fight. In the house. Yes. It is genius, or crazy and I don't remember who I got the idea from. 

 1 bag of marshmallows + 1 seven year old + 1 mom = loads of fun!

You can check the math for yourself if you'd like :)

I Sing Because I'm Happy....

I have an internal radio that is playing in my head, most of the time. Hot weather? Sounds like time to play "Hot town summer in the city..." A Friday night alone? "Lonely...I'm mister lonely" Chilly, snowy day? "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas"  Rainy day? "Singing in the Rain" of course!You never know what will turn up on my station.

Most situations will inspire a song within my head. If you hear me whistling to myself, it's probably  a song that is trapped in my head. I have been known to sing a song out loud in the hopes of giving that song to someone else so that it will leave me. I once had "Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel" stuck in my head for months.  I learned the song in elementary school and it has stuck.

I was driving to pick up groceries by myself the other day, and was able to indulge myself by singing along with the Christmas playlist on the local radio station. Loudly. In my really good voice. You know the one where I think I sound like Celine Dion-perfect pitch, amazing range... "Gloooooorrrria...in excelsis deo" Wow, I was 

good! 

In real life, I have an okay voice, but in truth am probably more than a little pitchy. 

 I am making a personal request to be in the choir in heaven. I think it will be awesome! 

His Eye is On the Sparrow

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,

Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,

When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain

I sing because I'm happy,

I sing because I'm free,

For His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me.

"Let not your heart be troubled," His tender word I hear,

And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;

Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain 

Whenever  I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,

When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,

I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. 

Refrain

You want to listen for yourself?
His Eye is On the Sparrow