Wanted: New Traditions

For the past year or so, I have been looking for ways to not only simplify our lives in general, but also to help our family to focus on what really matters (aka, not things with plug ins, over even 'things' in general). The accumulation of stuff is such a nice way to anesthetize ourselves to the ups and downs of life.

But, I don't want that for myself or for my kids.

 I chose to cut non-essentials out of my life while I was working on bringing my children home. Now that Little Man and Baby B are both home, I will be adding some technology back into our lives.

Did you know that we don't have internet at our home? (Shockingly, I blog, but I do not personally have internet access. Thank you family members who let me come and borrow your wireless connection.) My phone is not "smart". In fact, it's barely working these days.

We have a broken plug and play, but no video games. Our TV (which is fat, heavy, and does NOT have HD in its model name) gets one channel.  I've always been prided myself in my ability to go without technology.

However, Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to be really hard this year and part of me just wants to start buying 'stuff' to fill the void.  I think the key to surviving it will be in making sure things are kept as simple as possible, surrounding ourselves with family, and starting some new traditions (to add to the old) to help reclaim the season from our grief.

This is where I could use your help. I am looking for new ideas for traditions for our family. Nothing extravagant or with too much prep time needed.

What are some SIMPLE ways you celebrate life, focus on thankfulness, and keep your family centered on what is truly important (particularly during Thanksgiving and Christmas)?

Put your ideas in the comments section, on my FB page, or in a private message.

Thanks for your help.

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Just last Tuesday

You always read these articles about ways to be more content, how to be satisfied with the life you have... etc. I was never one who felt the need to read such articles. My life is good. Generally, I am very content. Once in awhile, though, everything comes crashing to the ground.

Last Tuesday, we got a phone call from my brother saying that Dad had passed out on their drive home from work. We didn't think it was a big deal. Mom rushed in to the ER bringing a change of clothes for my dad in case he had to stay overnight. Twenty minutes later, Mom called me and said the two words that changed everything.

He's gone.

I can hardly bare to type it, but it's true. At seventy-seven he was much too young to be gone. He and my mom were getting ready to celebrate their 50th anniversary next summer, planning where they wanted to go on vacation. Instead, we said good bye to him last Friday.

Dad was a man of few words. Norwegian, steady, honest, humble, patient, hard working, with a wry sense of humor, a smile on his face as he went through life. He loved God, his family, and his country, in that order. Not one to preach, his life was a testimony to his faith in God. Truly I was blessed to have a father who lived his faith.

My dad was always giving people second chances. Helping someone out when no one else would. Hiring someone that had recently (or was still) struggling with their own personal demons. Growing up, it was not uncommon for our home to be opened up to those wounded souls whether it be at Thanksgiving or the middle of the night. If someone needed help, my dad was there.

I was not an easy child to parent. Head strong, impulsive, hot tempered. Often, I acted first and thought later. But Dad never yelled at me. On more than one occasion, I remember Dad sitting on the bed next to me after I had done something I shouldn't have. With his eyes full of pain and love he would ask me, "Do you like to make your mom cry?" Not trying to guilt trip me, he genuinely couldn't understand why someone would want to hurt another person's feelings.

Sometimes, giving second chances meant that my dad was taken advantage of. Being compassionate can be bad for business. Dad would fire people when he had to, even try to counsel them make better choices, but he never got bitter. He was not perfect, but really try to live 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. His life was love.

I wish I was more like that. Unfortunately, I am much less patient and understanding.

But I'm sure going to try.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

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Just B...

Focused

I just finished running errands with Little Man, Baby B, and Princess Cousin.

Without a list.

Not my best idea ever. We kept running into people that I knew every few minutes as we walked through the stores. Baby B was showing off her tired funny self to cousin. Little Man was all a twitter about his upcoming birthday. Princess Cousin was very helpful. I was like a lost sailor at sea. I apologize if you saw me walking around with glazed eyes and I didn't say 'hi.'

I have always been absent minded and being a mom has definitely not helped matters. Just when my brain seems about to settle on a clear thought, it flies away again in another direction. I blame it on being creative and having so many great ideas floating around in my head.  ☺Nevertheless, I think that it is time to take drastic measures.

That's right. I am going to re-implement the use of .....The List.

In reality, I adore lists. Pretty little planners get me excited. Put me in an office supply store where I can dream about a beautifully organized life and I am glowing. (Never mind the fact that since my attention span is about the length of a gnat I probably will never stay focused long enough to truly organized.)

This would be cute in our kitchen.

Life is pretty busy right now, and only going to get busier when I head back to work. So, it looks like its time to get a new planner (excited giggle). I know that I could use my phone, but it's just not the same. Call me nerdy, old school, whatever, but there's just nothing like putting a pen to paper.

Now, do I go shopping,make one of my own, or use one of these cute free ones from online?

kayleighscraftycreations

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Freebie Friday!

What...why?

Because I just thought is was cool and reminded me of raindrops on a spiders web. Because I am an artist and am going through an abstract phase.  Because we really need to finish our family room in the basement and these colors are the ones that I am hoping to decorate with...

Because I possibly have been looking at Pinterest art projects too much lately.  

Possibly. 

(But I really do think it looks cool. Especially if I getting it printed on canvas. Or I could paint one myself 'for real'. Although I like the crisp, perfection of this design. Hmmmm.)

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Rosetta Stone, We're Not

It's interesting bringing home an older, internationally adopted child. Unlike bringing home an infant, who has not yet begun to talk, older children have already made that leap. Even in bringing home a baby, you will notice that their jabbering may sound different than what you may expect. There are sounds in other languages that we don't have in the English language.

Little Man came home with the most adorable accent. His birth language is Hadiyya, the care center where he stayed used Amharic, and then he came to the U.S. and had to learn English. Wow. I love watching the old videos of him when he was first speaking English. The accent is adorable! He picked up the language really quickly, but he still had the inflection that you would hear in his birth language. I have a voice mail saved from when he was three because it just sounds soooo cute.

We have been working really hard to help Baby B learn English so she can tell us what she needs more easily. She can understand most of what we are saying, but she is still working on being able to speak English herself.

The results have been...interesting.

Apparently, Baby B thinks that her name is 'Mama'. Either that or 'No.'  (Little Man thought he'd be silly one day and start telling sister that his name was Mama, so she thought her name must be mam too...then I tried to correct the confusion by saying no, whenever Baby B would say her name was Mama. Sigh.)

When you are finished eating, according to Baby B, you say 'Cacca.' Now, I'm not sure if you know what cacca really means (it involves using the bathroom and going number two) but I definitely don't want her running around saying 'Cacca!' whenever she finishes with something. This happened as a result of Mama trying to potty train and saying "Cacca, all done?" Whoops.

Baby B can say the word 'kitty' really well. This word can be used when referring to cats, dogs, rabbits, cows, elephants...

We've got 'Amen' covered. Baby B is even praying before she uses the potty these days. (I'm letting Little Man clear up the confusion on that one.)

I have discovered that we say "Okay" around here. A lot. My little princess walks around saying "Okay? Okay. Okay?" all day long. She's totally nailed that word in the English language. That and the words: yes, all done, more, and eat.

I'm thinking I'm not going to sign up to teach English anytime soon. Rosetta Stone people, you're safe.

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Great Expectations

Sometimes we have to adjust our expectations. Last night, Little Man and I were reflecting on how our life has changed since Baby B came home. To quote Little Man: "I thought the day we brought her home would be, like, the best day ever....and it was really more like a really bad dream. But it's good now." Yep. He summed it up pretty well.

Now, to clarify what he meant. Bringing home a new member of the family can be rugged at first.

Little Man did not expect the tantrums, or how hard it was to travel with a two year old who alternated between trying to take off into the crowds, pitching fits, and laying on the airport floor. He didn't anticipate what it would feel like to have to share his mom at bedtime, with a little stranger 'messing up' the routine. He didn't realize what it would feel like to have a two year old riding in the car, interrupting him while he tried to talk to his mom on the way home from school.

I didn't realize what it would feel like to have my heart divided in two, feeling badly for both my children as they struggle to get to know each other. I didn't know how hard it was when both of your children are mad at each other (irrationally) and you are trying to keep the peace. I didn't expect how different bringing home a two year old would be from bringing home an almost three year old developmentally. I forgot how much patience I would need.

We turned a corner a few days ago (Yes, your eyes do not deceive you, we had a dusting of snow.)

Suddenly,  Little Man and Baby B are truly siblings. He plays games with her and she doesn't feel the need to constantly try to get him in trouble.  (Seriously, she is so good at faking getting hurt...I can't believe it.) Little Man will come lay in my room while I am putting Baby B to bed and then we still have time for just the two of us to read books after she falls asleep. This morning while I was getting ready in the bathroom, Little Man was reading books to Baby B while she ate breakfast. When I came out to check on them, they were both glowing with happiness. Yay!

I'm not second guessing myself on whether or not I am doing the right thing. I'm just Mom and we're figuring it out as we go along. She's my baby, and some days she can be a real turkey, but most days she's so much fun. I've kind of figured out how to juggle having two little sweetie pies in my life. It is hectic, but it is forcing me to be much more organized and intentional with my time.

Yesterday I noticed the biggest change.  Baby B was having a tantrum about something. Before, Little Man would have gotten frustrated and left the room. His response, a tender smile, a hug for his sister, and a whispered "Mom, she is just so cute I don't even mind the crying anymore."

Happy sigh.

Now, we will ride off into the sunset and my children will never fight again. Oh, and I will always be an organized, put together, cool mom.

 That's how it works in a "real" family, right? ☺

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Just Be...

Imperfect
I can be much too hard on myself. Even Little Man has noticed and has gotten after me for it (thanks junior Dad!) I am trying to remedy this. Consciously trying to retrain how my brain talks to me. My internal self talk needs an attitude adjustment. It's okay if I'm not perfect, as long as I keep trying.

God doesn't make junk. I am not perfect, but I am perfectly suited for the places, people and projects that God has brought into my life.  I am perfect for my life, imperfections and all.


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