A "Good Mama"

Not long ago, Little Man and I decided we were long overdue for a good Ethiopian meal.  The fun part for me when we go out is always the interesting people that we meet.Throughout my life, I have had the ability to strike up a conversation with just about anyone. I am guessing that this skill was acquired by watching my grandma, and mom using their gift for gab. 

While at the restaurant, a nice Ethiopian man started chatting with us about where in Ethiopia we were from (great question), if we travelled back every year, etc. At the end of the conversation, he made sure to tell my son that he had a "good mama."

 I love that!

This is not the first time that this has happened. Whenever we are at an Ethiopian restaurant, or somewhere that we have a chance to chat briefly with someone who has immigrated here from Ethiopia, they tell my son that he has a good mom. Why it tickles me so much when a perfect stranger makes this statement I have no idea. Perhaps it is just the fact that I feel that in some way I have just received an additional stamp of approval in raising my Ethiopian child from someone who knows how it should be done.

On our way home, I made sure to point out to Little Man that if he is ever in doubt about whether or not his mom is a keeper or not, just remember that a perfect stranger just said that I was a 'good mama.'

 Little Man just smiled and said "I know Mom."

The Tough Stuff

Life has been busy,and I apologize for 'disappearing' for a month. It's hard to believe that amount of time has already passed. For the last few weeks I truly have been attempting to post.  Every time I try, I can't quite find the right words to express myself succinctly. I tend to be a wordy girl, but here goes.

The mother of one of my students is ill. In all likelihood, without Divine intervention, the prognosis does not look good. She was seeking a diagnosis at the same time that I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The outcome of both our illnesses and treatments could not have been any more different. As I teach this student every week, and watch the sorrow in her eyes grow, my heart is breaking. It hits a little too close to home to see a child mourning her mom's illness, and fearing the worst. As I read the family's posts on Caring Bridge I am broken at the thought of what they are going through. I pray daily for that mother's healing, and for peace for her and her family. I am not supposed to hug my students, but all I want to do is sit down next to this child, give her a hug, and cry. I pray for a miracle.

I also pray for Little Man, Baby B, and myself. There are still moments when I can feel fear gripping me as I worry-is my sore throat the tumor coming back? Could my backache be something more than just a pulled muscle? I tell myself to remember to trust in God. If you are going to worry, don't pray...if you are going to pray, don't worry. I find myself reading anything I can on the internet about ways to boost my body's ability to stay cancer free. I am wearing a pedometer these days to track my mileage (one day I made 14,000 steps in just my 'normal' activity!) I am considering taking up running. Sugar is the enemy-cancer thinks it is delicious and grows when you put it into your body. I have almost convinced myself that I like my coffee black, and that an orange is much tastier than a mini Snickers.

I hate cancer, and I pray one day we find a cure.

I will continue to pray for the healing of my student's mom. God still works miracles.  

 I will take this second chance I have and live my life in the healthiest way I can-as a way of honoring God and all of the many blessings He has given me. 

 1. It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most High: 2 To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night, 3 Upon an instrument of ten strings, and upon the psaltery; upon the harp with a solemn sound. 4 For thou, LORD, hast made me glad through thy work: I will triumph in the works of thy hands. 5 O LORD, how great are thy works! and thy thoughts are very deep .

Psalm 92:1-5

Sports "men" Unite!

We are becoming fisher"people" in our family. This past Sunday, myself,  Little Man,  his cousins, and my sister went fishing together. Two women who have rarely gone fishing, and never cleaned a fish taking five kids out on a pontoon for the day. Sounds like a great plan right? What could go wrong?

Thankfully, nothing did go wrong. In fact I even managed to pilot the pontoon that we rented in and out of the harbor like a pro! With temperatures in the 80's and a slight breeze, it was a great day. Between the four of them (number five was doing homework) one wallet, and twenty-two perch were all caught...and released thank goodness. You can't beat fishing when they are practically jumping into the boat.

The day left everyone tired, a little sunburned, dehydrated, and happy. I personally feel I am really getting the hang of releasing fish (having never done it before last summer when a friend took us out for the day). Our weather is turning a lot colder this week, so that may have been our last fishing day for the season.

I guess that gives me the winter for searching the Internet on just how to fillet a fish.

Quite frankly, I'd rather clean a fish than a deer!

A 'Normal' Family

Ahhh, the quest to be normal.What exactly does that mean? Many don't view our family as normal. I have been asked, by children, teenagers, and adults many rude and unbelievable comments since Little Man and I became a family.

 "Can't you have children?" (Yes, I do have children, I have one son :) "No, you know one of your own?" (Last time I checked he was my very own son...I don't have any others.) "Is he your real son or are you his real mom?" (Neither one of us are pretend...you can see me right?) "Is he...?" (Very tall for his age...yes he is.) Was his father black? (Yep.) "You do make sure you tell people that he's adopted, right?" (Actually, that's really nobody's business but ours, he's my SON, not my 'adopted son'.) Ethiopia huh...did his parents have AIDS? (Again, nobody's business but ours.) He's your son? (Yep, we're both tall, we both have brown eyes and curly hair, he just has a better tan.)  Well, you know how it is over there (Ethiopia). They just keep having babies and then giving them away.(Actually, choosing to place your child to be raised with someone outside of the birth family is one of the hardest decisions a person ever has to make. Most of the families only do so when they see that the alternative for their child is death by starvation or illness. I've been there and seen the heartbreak in the birth families eyes.)

I'm sorry perfect strangers. The amazing, beautiful, heart breaking details of how we became a family are none of your business, even if we are in the same aisle at the grocery store. :) Little Man knows that the details of his life in Ethiopia before he came home (he was almost three) are not for everyone to know about. His birth history is special, and it's his to share with those people who are close to him, not the whole world.

There are not real children and adopted children. Just children and their loving families.

So, what is a normal family?

 

I've decided that I don't care. I work really hard at trying to not keep up with what the world thinks is normal in other areas of my life, and I don't plan on changing that now.  I'm choosing to go by God's standards and while there are a ton of 'begats' listed in the Bible, there are also stories of adoption of the natural and spiritual kind. I am just a mom who loves her Little Man, and Baby B (that she has yet to meet). A mom who recently spent nine days sleeping on the living room floor because he son was allergic to something in his room and it was keeping him up at night. A mom who would walk through fire to protect her children. A mom who believes an institution (no matter how loving)  is not a home, and no child should have to be raised in one. A mom who believes that families are grown in the heart. 

Is adoption better than having biological children? No, but it is an equally normal choice for forming a family.

 Are we normal?

I may be a little biased, but I happen to think our family is EXTRAordinary!

 

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27

Just B...

...Intentional

Two of the people that I work with experienced family tragedies this past week. In one case, three kids are now without a mom, in another a daughter is seriously injured. When you watch someone go through something like that, it really makes you want to wrap your arms around your own family.

I am a cancer survivor and I try to make the most of the moments I have with my family. Unfortunately, when things get busy I have a tendency to run on auto-pilot. "Must finish all tasks." My schedule starts to run my life, rather than me making sure my life is scheduled for ample time with Little Man.

This week I made the intentional decision to scale back on all of our busyness. Instead, Little Man and I cooked a new delicious meal together, read a ton of books, watched some funny DVDs, and drew crazy pictures of each other until we both were laughing hysterically. I quit with the internal conversation that i normally have with myself about what I really should be doing (what about the laundry, the dishwasher, etc.) I had time to really treasure my sweet little first grader. You know what, he is amazing and soooo much fun to hang out with! I always love my Little Man, but this week I was able to really enjoy him for who he is.

 Little Man will only be little this once. He already is planning for his future as an adult, complete with where he would like to go to college, what career he would like, how many kids he would like to have when he gets married, etc. My job is just to help him to become who he is meant to be.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

 Before we know it Baby B will be home and things will get so much busier. We both can hardly wait, but in the meantime I am going to give Little Man as many extra hugs as he will allow me to give him and treasure each moment.

The Sweetest Thing

We love Saturday's in our house. I love my job and Little Man loves school, but there is just something about not having to get up to be on time for anything. Somewhere between the book reading marathon, and the DVD, Little Man said the sweetest thing "I already love my sister so much, I don't even know how much I will love her when she gets here!"

If you are still wondering why I am choosing this crazy path of adopting a second child it's for my Little Man who can't wait to have a 'squishy' (baby) sister . Because, we have more love to give in our family. Because my son deserves (and wants desperately) to have a sibling to do things with. Because apparently I need a life that is even busier than it already is :)

 So while gas prices continue to climb to insane levels, and I continue to find more and more things I can cut back on... we wait and dream of the homecoming of Baby B. She really is the sweetest thing!

Big News!

 During the past two weeks, work has been so insanely busy that I barely have had time to think about our wait for Baby B.  Plus Little Man first was having allergy issues and then picked up his first whopper of a cold for the year. Then, this past Thursday after school as I was telling another parent about our wait for a referral...my cell phone started to ring! I am thrilled to announce that we have received a referral for a little girl! My paperwork is in transit to make everything truly official. It will be a little while before I post an actual picture (I need to find out when it is allowed in the process). You will have to trust me when I say that Baby B is a beautiful little thirteen month old. Little Man is beside himself with excitement. He is just learning how to read and can not wait to read to his little sister.  I am a bit in shock. Thrilled, but in shock and praying that this time there will be a little one who makes it home.

We still have time (probably a year) and some financial hurdles to jump. I am busy trying to make a ton of jewelry and collage prints to sell both online and at a craft show coming up soon.  But now our prayers have a name and face attached to them when we go to bed at night. For those of you who have helped make this happen, thank you doesn't even come close to expressing how I feel for your help.

I will try to be better about keeping people posted. Now that we have a new adorable face to go along with our dream, it will make the rest of the working/waiting towards bringing them home easier in some ways and harder in others.

I am praying for an early homecoming :)