Our Adoption Story (A Second Look)

Today I'm excited to be participating in the first topic of the Adoption Talk Link Up. The first topic we are covering is “Our Stories.”

http://www.nobohnsaboutit.com/

I've written about our adoption stories before (you can read it here) but today I decided to go out on a limb and tackle how it felt when I adopted my oldest, Little Man (kind of a big deal for me so please be kind.)

Several years ago, I was part of a discussion with some other parents about our children's adoption stories. It was expressed by one of the parents that they wished their children had the fairy tale coming home story that many children being raised by their birth families had.

That really resonated with me. Adoption, to me, is the redemption of a deep tragedy. A testament that beauty can rise from the ashes.

At the time, I was being treated for Hodgkin's Lymphoma and was having trouble sleeping due to some of my medications. One night, after a day of chemo, this story poured out, a gift from God. I slept like a baby once I had finished it.  I hope to write down Baby B's story one day to share with her as well.

I've never shared our story in this way on the blog before. It's meant too much, and seemed too precious and sacred to share. It was never the right time.

Until now.

There you go! If you have an adoption story to share please feel free join the link up and check out some of the other blogs here, to get started.

~ Aleah Bea

Click the banner above to vote for Just B. @Top Mommy Blogs! You can vote once a day.

Staying Motivated with Your Resolutions

Soooo, how are those resolutions working for you? If you remember my post from the beginning of the year, I am trying out new year's resolutions for the first time in 2015. I was apprehensive at first, but I decided that it was worth a shot.

You know, YOLO and all of that good stuff.

One of my mini goals was exercising twice a week. As I have been working towards that goal, I have recruited a surprising workout buddy-my three year old.  She loves to work out. The one (yes, one) day that I worked out in 2014, I did Pilates with my sister and our kids. Baby B spent the entire workout climbing over, on top of, and under me while I attempted planks, child poses, and downward dogs. Her favorites were when I kissed her nose every time I went down for a push-up. Little Man has even joined in a time or two (although he much prefers when we do Tae Bo).

Initially, I found this adorable, but a little frustrating. Then I decided that the added challenge of a three year old using me as a jungle gym was just upping my work out difficulty level. Full contact Pilates if you will, or high impact (and I have the cut lip and back pain to prove it.)

Needless to say, I think that I'll start doing my workouts while the kids are in bed. However, I may still do some workouts while they are awake (bonuses, if you will). It's good for my kids to see me exercising, and it's fun to have them working out with me. I just need to lay my 'goal minded' expectations aside when we are working out together.

Now for the real question I know you're asking yourself, "That's all well and good, but have you worked out twice a week this month?" Nope. But I did this week. Surprisingly, working out is starting to feel fun for me and that my friends, is HUGE.  When I have fun doing something, I want to keep doing it (don't we all). Plus, by recruiting my kids as my personal trainers, I have a built in reminders that I couldn't escape if I wanted to.

It's all about changing our mindset. Baby steps, my friends. This is the year. We can do it!

I'll update you on my progress with my other resolutions in the days to come.

-Mama Bea

Perspective Changes Everything

The beginning of new year is a great time to reset your frame of mind. Call it resolutions, goal setting, or choosing a word for the year, many people are looking for ways to make a fresh start.

While I am attempting to work on some resolutions this year, I also have had a phrase running through my head for the past week or so. I woke up this morning, at 3:40, with a story to explain the phrase.

 I thought that I'd pass it on to you.

The Walk

A woman decided to take her visiting friend for a walk one fresh spring day. 

Returning home, the woman declared, "That walk was wonderf..." 

"Horrible!" interjected her friend. 

Confused, the woman asked her friend what had been so horrible about the walk. 

"Didn't you see all of the trash that people had dumped along the highway?" her friend said.  "Now that the snow is thawing, it's EVERYWHERE! People have no respect these days. Plus, that road is all rutted up. I don't know how any cars make it through that muddy mess."

Nodding, the woman smiled at her friend.

"But, did you happen to notice," she began, "the birds making nests to get ready for their new babies?" Or the way that the sun was shining through the branches overhead? Did you see the new buds coming out on all of the trees? There's nothing like the first green of spring."

Her friend look at her quizzically. She hadn't noticed any of those things during their outing.

"You see," the woman continued, "when spring comes, there is trash to clean up, there is mud and there are messes. But there is also growth, new life, and new beginnings. You just have to look up."

You. Just. Have. To. Look. Up.

During the struggles of the past year, I have felt myself looking down a lot. Pushing myself along, just trying to survive. Making eye contact for too long might allow people to see the depth of the pain that I was trying to work through. Best to just keep things light and on the surface. Holding myself back and denying that personal connection with the people around me hurts, not only them, but myself.

The pain is not over. The struggles continue. But a life spent looking down is no way to live. Life is not just garbage and muddy messes (and pain). Life is also sunshine, laughter, and new beginnings.

Perspective changes everything.

This year I've made resolutions, but I also have a phrase I will be carrying with me.

You just have to look up.